Emotional Check Engine Lights
- Nov 30, 2017
- 5 min read
Have you ever been driving down the road and the check engine light comes on in your vehicle? It's an unsettling sight, isn't it? At the same time, isn't it nice that your car, for the most part, will alert you to a potential problem? Imagine if that wasn't part of the design, any problems that lie under the hood could sneak up on you suddenly and leave you stranded on the side of the road.
Negative emotions are much like check engine lights. The term "negative" does not mean that these are emotions are bad or that we shouldn't have them. Rather, it simply means that these are emotions that we'd prefer not to have or to avoid whenever possible. They aren't the "feel good" kind of emotions like happiness, joy, ecstasy, contentment, or peace. When we experience sadness or depression, fear or anxiety, we want those emotions to pass as quickly as possible.
In my practice, I encounter all kinds of emotions, most of them being of the negative variety. Folks don't generally seek counseling when they feel good. I like to share the analogy that these emotions are basically God's "check engine lights" for our soul. When emotions like sadness, anger, or fear rise up in us, they are alerting us to an issue that is amiss. They are attempting to signal to our brains that we need to at least pull over and "look under the hood" or find a mechanic to help figure out what the problem is. This is commonly understood in the medical community and by people in general when it comes to physical pain. We all understand that when we feel physical pain, it's our body's way of alerting us that something is wrong. And just like negative emotions, sometimes people choose to ignore the symptoms of what may be signaling a more serious underlying condition.
I try to teach clients to become an objective observer to their emotions. To learn how to recognize when a negative emotion is rising up and to take the time to explore where it's coming from. There are two main sources from which emotions get triggered, from within or from without. We may witness an event that would stir up anger or sadness in us, it may be something we cannot control. At the same time, our own thinking can trigger a negative emotion. Regardless of the source, when a negative emotion surfaces and your check engine light is blinking, it's important to stop and look under the hood.
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you (Psalm 55:22a)
How do we go about "looking under the hood?" Just as Psalm 55:22 says, we need to take our emotions to God. When our check engine lights are blinking in the form of anger, anxiety, or sadness, our first response needs to be communicating these emotions to God.
Communicating with God---that's all prayer really is. We don't have to be all cleaned up first. We don't need any special words or rehearsed verses. We need to be real. We need to be raw. If you can't think of any words, that's ok too. Sometimes, all we can do is cry, but let your cry be on bended knees, intentionally in His presence. Sometimes, the only words we can muster are "God help me!" Ultimately, our check engine lights act as a beacon for the Lord's calling us to Himself.
However, all too often, when our check engine lights come on, we just keep right on driving. We hope the light will shut off on it's own and go away. Or worse, we do things to cover up or drown out the warning signals, like burying them with drugs, alcohol, work, and inappropriate sexual experiences. All of which, ironically lead to more check engine lights. We may even become complacent to the wicked companion of anger or anxiety and simply accept the lie that we're cursed with that emotional condition. Yet, if we run to God, He promises to bring us to a place of peace.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
I encourage you to begin to pay attention to your check engine lights. You were designed to have them, and although they don't "feel" good, they serve a good purpose. God is the Master Mechanic of our souls. Since He's the designer, He's the only qualified expert in repairing what's broken. All things, when placed in the hands of God, are transformed into something beautiful (Romans 8:28, Isaiah 61:3).
Dr. Stacy Wright, PsyD, HSPP is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Faithful Counsel. Since 2002, she has provided Christian counseling that integrates biblical truth with evidence-based psychological principles. Dr. Wright offers secure telehealth counseling for clients in Indiana, Illinois, and PSYPACT participating states and is the host of the Think Right with Dr. Wright podcast. She is also the author of Emotional Check Engine Lights: A Scripture-Based Guide to Identify Lies, Renew Your Mind, and Walk in Obedience.
Emotional Check Engine Lights: A Scripture-Based Guide to Identify Lies, Renew Your Mind, and Walk in Obedience.
FAQs
What are ‘emotional check engine lights’?
They are emotional signals—like anxiety, anger, numbness, or despair—that something deeper needs attention. Rather than treating emotions as the final authority, we treat them as indicators pointing to beliefs, interpretations, and needs. Biblically, they can reveal where our hearts are tempted toward fear, control, or misplaced trust. Clinically, they can highlight patterns that benefit from skill-building and support.
How do I tell the difference between conviction and condemnation?
Conviction from the Holy Spirit is specific, hope-filled, and leads you toward repentance and restoration. Condemnation is vague, crushing, and tends to push you toward hiding, despair, or self-punishment. From a psychological perspective, condemnation often sounds like global shame statements (for example, ‘I’m a failure’) rather than a clear, changeable behavior. When you notice condemnation, pause, name it, and bring it under the light of Scripture and truth.
What should I do when my emotions feel overwhelming?
Name the emotion, identify the lie underneath it, apply God’s truth, and choose the next obedient action—even while the emotion is still heightened. Then ask, ‘What am I believing right now?’ because emotions often signal an underlying interpretation or assumption. Compare that belief with Scripture and with what you know to be true and observable. If the pattern is persistent or impairing, counseling can help you identify the ‘warning lights,’ renew your mind, and respond with wise, obedient action.
How does renewing the mind actually work in daily life?
Renewing the mind is more than positive thinking—it’s replacing lies with truth and practicing new responses over time. Biblically, it involves taking thoughts captive and aligning them with God’s Word; clinically, it parallels evidence-based approaches that examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You learn to notice triggers, challenge distortions, and choose actions consistent with your values and convictions. Over time, repeated truth-based practice reshapes habits of thinking and reacting.
When is it time to seek counseling?
Consider counseling when emotional patterns keep repeating, relationships are strained, or you feel stuck despite sincere spiritual effort. Counseling can help you clarify what’s happening internally, identify false beliefs, and build practical skills for change. At Faithful Counsel, the goal is compassionate, biblically grounded care that also uses sound psychological principles. If you’re in Indiana, Illinois, or a PSYPACT state, secure telehealth may be an option.
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